Tuesday, November 23, 2010

23. Baldy Nov 23 Tue

(2:56 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

[ Fri Nov 19, 2010 - morning ]

*** Turtle ***

Is this the end gentle reader? Will we ever find out the end of the tale of two Knights one Day? Much less learn how the tale of Baldy turns out. No, not the tail of Baldy. That is something completely different. I mean, we know he has a tail, a little grepping just told me that even though I didn't remember off the top if I had revealed the existence of said appendage as yet.

It turns out Baldy does have a tail and you already know that he has a tail. That is, unless you have been being a bit naughty and jumping about in the text rather than reading along with me as I write. If you have been doing that then there is not much I can say at this time. In fact, if you are doing that, you may never even read this to figure out that I might be on to you.

You see how novel time has stood basically still for a good while now gentle reader? You see how novel time and novelling time are getting more and more out of sync? The thing is, I am not sure anything much is going to be done about this worsening situation today either. Not sure at all.

This message brought to you by the Department Of Redundancy Department.

There are absolutely no absolutes in this life we are living.

Will the tolerant tolerate the intolerant?

Who put the ROT in rotten?

(3:29 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

Where was I? Oh yes, turtle.

Turtle. Green.

Turtle. Sea.

Turtle. Terrapin.

Turtle. Tortoise.

Turtle. Dove.

Turtle. Martial.

Turtle. Shell.

Turtle. Conflict.

(3:42 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

We peek in now to see the shop keeper still reading the story online. How this relates to turtles is currently a mystery.


This upset Sir Higgi tremendously. Why would the Starry Knight insult him so? He picked up a bell rock and tapped Sir Reched on his helmet in order to wake him up an get his attention. It worked.

Sir Reched woke up and jumped to his feet, drawing his sword. "Who struck me?" he shouted.

Sir Higgi jumped to his feet as well and took off his gauntlet and threw it at Sir Reched's feet.

"What's this all about then?" asked Sir Reched.

"What this is about, Sir," said Sir Higgi, "is a challenge. I have had enough of your insults to my queen and to my person and I challenge you to a duel. Choose your weapons and prepare to defend yourself forthwith!"

"Oh my! You are the naughty one aren't you Sir Higgi?" responded Sir Reched.

"I am the naughty one?"

"You said it!" replied Sir Reched.

"How am I the naughty one. You Sir, are the villain, not I" replied Sir Higgi.

"Oh, come now, don't be coy, of course you are the naughty one. Caught red handed too I might add." said Sir Reched.

"Explain yourself sir or I will run you through without the benefit of a proper duel." said Sir Higgi.

"Well, it is obvious isn't it? Tell me, was I just talking in my sleep and insulted your red queen while a-slumber?" asked Sir Reched.

"No, certainly not." replied Sir Higgi.

"There you see? Obvious!" said Sir Reched.

"I warn you, explain yourself clearly or face my blade!" cried Sir Higgi.

"Well, since I did not just insult your queen in my sleep, it stands to reason that I had already insulted your beloved queen before and you had already decided to let those insults go and not defend her royal honour. And now, I must have done something to insult your person as you put it and now you decide to issue a challenge. A little naughty only I grant you but you take it further. Oh yes you do! You can't just issue your challenge on behalf of your insulted person and be done with it. Oh no, you have to bring your queen's honour into it to justify your actions, the same honour I might add that you were prepared to see violated without a defense if your behaviour to now is to be our measurement. As I say, quite naughty!" expounded Sir Reched.


(4:02 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

*** Tango ***

Tango. Foxtrot.

Tango. Oscar.

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*** Banana Bird ***

(4:13 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)


Sir Higgi sat down dejectedly and put his head in his hands. Sir Reched was right. He felt ashamed of himself. What kind if a knight was he to put his own honour above that of his queen?

"Don't look so down Higgi old man, it could happen to the best of us. Now, why don't we see if we can do something about this dratted daze what?" said Sir Reched.

Sir Higgi stood up, ashamed once again for his weakness and concern for his own desires above those of his beloved queen.

"That's it good Knight. We must be about our business, no slacking what?" concluded Sir Reched.

"Indeed kind Sir," said Sir Higgi, determined to look on Sir Reched in a kinder light in light of his forbearance and continued concern for the queen's business. "How shall we proceed?"

They talked it over and decided that since this little clearing seemed to be the source for this daze that it was hear that they would best find a solution to it. Now it may seem strange that they had journeyed such a great distance to come to this place without making this exact determination before setting out but I can only relate events as they stand. Anything else would be a fiction. Something I will not stoop to.


Oh yes.

Banana Bird.

This is a large yellow bird with banana shaped wings and a banana shaped beak to boot. I would mention their banana shaped legs as well but that might be pushing things just a little too far no?

I mean, one can only suspend one's disbelief so far as it were. For some reason, for so far seems to sound better than for so long in this instance. Go figure.

Bananaquit. Why did the banana quit? Who knows?

(4:52 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

(5:25 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)


Well, perhaps I would stoop to it if I had to but in this case I do not have to and so shall not.

Sir Reched, being the inventive sort, set out to build a device to clear the clearing of the daze so that they might better examine the clearing itself and see if they could see any clues as to the exact source of the daze within the clearing.

He went into the forest a short way to fell some timber, using his trusty horse to pull the felled timber back to the centre of the clearing.

Basically, what he built was a sort of horse powered windmill shaped fan, using the felled timber for the main frame of the fan and fronds from a sort of palm as the blades. He hooked both his horse and Sir Higgi's horse up to the device and slapped them on their rumps. Before long the daze had been expelled from the clearing so he let the horses stop.

Unfortunately, as soon as the fan blades stopped spinning, the daze quickly filled the clearing once again.

(5:50 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

*** Guppy ***

Guppy. Tropical fish. One of my favourite fish while growing up.

Guppy. A pocket cruiser.

Guppy duppy.

Duppy guppy.

Which is correct? The Duppy Strut. Can a guppy duppy strut? Can a duppy guppy duppy strutt? Etc.

So Sir Reched slapped haunches again and the two horses powered up the fan again and the fan soon cleared the clearing of the dreaded daze once again.

This time he left the horses moving and the fan running and began a quick search of the clearing. It did not take long to find a hole in the ground under a large rock with daze continuing to come out of it.

He went over and carefully lowered himself into the hole to investigate. Sir Higgi followed. Sir Reched told him not to come down into the hole in case something went wrong but Sir Higgi would not hear of it. He was down the hole in a flash, reminiscent of Alice.

(6:28 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

Down the hole they found a curtain of sorts formed of moss. The daze seemed to be coming from behind the curtain. They discussed the situation and decided that Sir Reched would proceed behind the curtain while Sir Higgi would remain on this side and only come in case of need.

Well, that was the plan anyway but just as Sir Reched was going through the curtain, Sit Higgi decided that he should go too and stepped through right behind Sir Reched. The daze thickened and a light flashed and thunder sounded. Sir Reched and Sir Higgi found themselves in a very noisy and dark place. There was water up to their ankles and small shafts of light coming down from above. There looked to be ladder rungs of a sort going up the wall of a shaft that rose above them.

Well, they left the clearing as knights of yore and came up the shaft into modern time. All without traveling through time.

They came up into bright sunshine with a clear sky above and a cool breeze blowing on their faces. They heard a loud honking noise and turned to see a tractor head pulling a forty foot container heading towards them. Well, even though they had never before seen such a sight, they were not dim-wits by any means. They got out of the way. Whotay to the left and Dun to the right.

A stream of traffic kept coming so that it was a while before Whotay could cross the road to rejoin Dun. Eventually though, Sir Higgi saw a gap that appeared to be large enough for him to cross the road in the face of these speeding behemoths.

(6:50 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010)

And, that about does it for the day gentle reader. I have passed two thousand words for the day and can shut it down and go and make myself some dinner.

Until next time.

(6:50 pm Tue Nov 23, 2010) 52742

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