Friday, November 5, 2010

05. Baldy Nov 05 Fri

(5:14 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

Well gentle reader it has come to this today. Nothing written this morning. No real ideas right now as to how to start or where to go. The family wants to go out to dinner tonight and I don't want to say no or to stay home and let them go without me.

Where does that leave me?

The best idea I have right now is to turn today into a ramble and a romp. Perhaps even just to spend it shooting the breeze with you. Perhaps you can even help me plan out some things for the days ahead. Who knows?

So where were we yesterday? Let me hop back an check. Please don't go anywhere, I'll be right back...

Ah, yes, Baldy had headed south to see Zevelyn but Zevelyn had been given the cue by Cooper / Buster to help him if possible but to send him on in any case. Now I am not sure if you are familiar with the phrase to send someone on. I kind of picked it up around my family as a boy when certain stories were being told. Stories about spotted paint, stories about sky hooks, stories about ground pin holes, stories about left handed screw drivers. Those kinds of stories.

(5:20 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010) 8805

It seems some people at certain businesses around town used to send certain other people working at the business out to buy items such as spotted paint, sky hooks, ground pin holes, and left handed screw drivers. It seems they would send someone to a certain store to buy such an item and then when the person had left on the quest, they would quickly get on the phone to that store and tell someone that so and so was on the way and to send him on. So when so and so arrives and asked for the can spotted paint (or whatever today's non-existent item happened to be) the person at the store would say they thought they had some on the back, go back, kill some time, and later come back and say they were sorry but they had just sold the last can. They would then say that they thought this other store down the way may have had in a shipment recently and they should go down and check. And thus they would send him on. As soon as so and so left for the new store, the person at the just visited store would quickly get on the phone to the new store and tell them that so and so was on the way and to send him on. This process would repeat itself with so and so being sent all over town looking for an item that did not exist.

(5:33 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010) 9051

(8:30 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

Now, whenever these stories were told in the family, it was always told that the people sending so and so on were all basically laughing at him and making out like he was such a doofus. And that was the general take of those telling the stories and from what I could tell, just about everyone listening. Now, I can't be sure because I always thought that in fact, so and so might just have wanted to get out of the office or wherever and take a stroll around town for the afternoon and was happy to go along with the game to get the time off.

(8:35 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

What do you think gentle reader?

So, if you didn't know before, now you do. And the stage is set to send Baldy on. Perhaps now too it is clear why Zevelyn queried Cooper as to whether he was sure he wanted to have Baldy sent on.

So what happened was, Baldy got in a little scrap down by this animal farm on the way. This rooster and one old hairy goat were hanging out by the road, outside of the front gate as he was passing by. The rooster made some smart alec remark about is coat. Now Baldy was a little bit of a hot head. He knew he should just ignore them. He knew this was not his part of town. He knew he was outnumbered and that they likely had more friends just inside the gate. He knew he had somewhere important to go. He knew all that and more. But he just had to stop. He just had to make some wise comeback remark. One thing led to another and the scrap resulted. Now I called it a little scrap but it was really a little scrap in the same way Little John was little. If you know what I mean.

(9:00 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

(9:12 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

You know, I just don't have the time for this time games tonight gentle reader. I am tired and other things and I can't have time slipping away from me like that. I have to churn out the words. Pull them out of a hat if necessary. Beat them into submission if necessary. I am not even half way to two thousand yet and I am letting whole chunks of time go by with no words down to show for it. Can you help me out some perhaps? So far there has been no kompoz help like I had hoped for. Mind you I can't properly complain as I have done very little lyric writing myself this month either. Here let me prove it. I will give you my total lyric output for the month so far.

lyrics and pieces of lyrics by drew Roberts Nov 10
Copyright 2010, drew Roberts
Released under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License

Nov 04/10

You're up there on a wire
Object of man's desire
With eyes of emerald fire
And lips strawberry red

Nov 04/10

Cafefornia girls over easy
Cafefornia girls break on top

Nov 05/10

I got something to tell you girl
But you don't want to hear it
I got something to tell you girl
But you don't want to hear it
So you
Cry every night
You kick up and complain
You put up a fight
And your tears fall like rain


Yup, that's it.

You can find it online here:

Although sometimes what I have on my hard drive is a bit ahead of what is available at that link if I haven't uploaded my latest treasures yet.

(9:20 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

Oh, by the way, just to be clear, the Mary in the lyric is not supposed to be the Mary in this story. At least I do not see it that way so far. Things are always subject to change thought. Sort of like the Terms Of Service with most web sites you might sign up for. A bit of a pain that. First you are supposed to read the things. But they are supposed to be legal agreements. But you are supposed to have a lawyer read and advise you on legal agreements before you sign them. But then they are subject to change at basically any time. And when they do, you are supposed to read them again and agree to them again. Which means you are supposed to get your lawyer to read them and advise you on them again. And so on, and so on. Now, I don't know about you, but I find lawyers to be some of the least busy and least costly professionals out there. So it is not that expensive to get your lawyer to do this for you and since they are never busy, they can always get back to you promptly with the needed advice, but who has time for that in their busy lives right?

(9:33 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010) 9913

So anyway, about this little scrap. What happened was, the rooster and the goat had been to see a local Kung Fu movie recently and were all exited and practicing moves on each other since seeing it. Tonight they had decided to sneak out of the gate and practice on some strangers. Baldy was the lucky stranger. Perhaps the unlucky stranger. We shall see.

So the rooster was a long time king fu movie fan and reckoned himself somewhat of a kung fu expert. Always after viewing each movie since he was a chick, he has made of point of practicing the moves he has just seen in the movie.

(9:38 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

(10:08 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

Here we go again. Time slipping away. Sometimes no matter how good the intentions, other things happen.

OK, so the rooster was a kung fu movie fan and a kung fu fan in general and thought himself somewhat of a self taught kung fu expert. And after the recent local movie he was jacked up. And he and the goat were a bit itchy. Itchy to try out some moves on someone who wasn't in on it. Someone unready. Someone unsuspecting.

And along came Baldy. He wasn't exactly slow walking but he wasn't exactly running either. By the time he reached the farm, he had been on the ankle express for too long. So he was dragging a bit. So he was a bit irritable. OK so he was a little more than a bit irritable.

The rooster and the goat didn't know what sort of fuse they were lighting when they lit Baldy's. But they lit it. Now with some fuses, they idea is to burn slow. Let's just say Baldy's fuse would have failed in such a role. They lit it and he went off.

You know all those Guy fireworks around town tonight? They don't have nothing on Baldy last night.

(10:24 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

(10:30 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

It is trying to get away again gentle reader. I have got to stop this procrastination. I have got to crank out these words. I must. I must. No distractions.

So, the rooster and the goat thought they knew kung fu but Baldy was a down and dirty fighter. Let's just say he knew a few *tricks*...

The fight was brief but intense. You remember baldy was concerned that the two might have more friends behind the gate. He figured he would be wise not to let the fight drag out long enough to give them a chance to call in reinforcements. So he went all supersonic on them. And that was that.

The problem was, although it was quick, although he called what he did at times like these going supersonic, it still took time. It still took energy. It slowed him down while it lasted. It slowed him down for the remainder of his journey due to the expended energy.

He got there late.

(10:39 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010) 10424

(10:46 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

Too late.

Zevelyn was waiting patiently when he happened to run his head. When he happened to see something scrumptious. Something irresistible.

Now gentle reader, I will not reveal exactly what that something irresistible was on account of what is irresistible to a wise old owl like Zevelyn might not be quite the same for a gentle reader like yourself. It might actually lead to some first hand knowledge of the gag reflex as it were. Well if not the gag reflex per se, at least to some first hand knowledge of gagging.

You catch my drift I am sure.

Getting close now gentle reader.

So when Baldy got to the general location where Cooper's directions had sent him, he searched around for Zevelyn but had no luck. So he beat the bushes asking everyone who would speak to him where he could find if they knew the whereabouts of the wise old owl Zevelyn.

At first he got nowhere but then he noticed a white crab down a hole under a mahogany tree and the crab gave pointed out Zevelyn's tree to him.

"What, right there? that's the tree the owl live in? How come no one else around here knew that? You sure?"

"Well, it's like this. We don't like people bothering old Zevelyn. He is getting on in years and needs to be calm. You would not believe how many people come around looking to take advantage of Zevelyn's wisdom and knowledge."

(11:02 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010)

"I can grok that. So how come no one would tell me but you did?"

"Well, I heard the call and knew you were coming, I guess they didn't. Zevelyn was planning on being here to meet you but something came up and he had to fly off. He will be back eventually, Maybe even soon. Why don't you just chill out and wait a bit."

Well, Baldy didn't see what other profitable options he had so he turned around three times and lay down at the base of Zevelyn's tree to wait. He just wished he had a way to get up in the branches.

(11:08 pm Fri Nov 05, 2010) 10794

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